I do believe that awareness, paying attention, mindfulness…whatever you want to call it…is the key to personal growth. I wrote the following post back in April. I was riding a cycle of high creativity…and I was aware of it. I was also aware that it would come to an end, and I wrote this post – to hold in reserve – with that in mind.
Since then, I’ve had the same cycle come and go 2 or 3 times. Each time thinking that *this* time will be *different* somehow. And this past 2 weeks: I had completely convinced myself that I was *over* the whole cyclical thing. That because I was no longer traveling, was anchored in one place and had plenty of time, that I would settle into a routine of writing miraculously change and become a different person.
After spending 2 days fruitlessly frustrated at my computer, *trying* to write and being unable to do so, today, I am accepting that my creative energy has run out. So I’m using my “get out of blog post free” card.
Creativity comes in waves
Tara the blondechicken posted this on Twitter the other day:
I’ve learned, during my almost-year of self-employment, that creativity is cyclical. If I’m in a fallow period, I need to just STOP pushing.
And wrote a blog post about it here.
Oh boy, do I get this.
Creativity shows up when it shows up. And when it does: look out. Right now, I have about 3 blog posts that I’ve started – and ideas for several more. I can’t type fast enough to get my thoughts into the computer. I walk away from the computer exhausted…then lie in bed and think about more and more ideas. I can’t sleep. Then I hop out of bed the next morning and do it all over again.
I could pathologize this pattern and make it about me not being a bear.
Or I could accept that this is how my life works.
Periods of crazy creativity and productivity – followed by periods of fallow. A time to rest and regenerate. (Or as Joe says: “You actually have to get out and do shit in order to have something to write about!”)
This is part of the reason why I am pretty much unemployable. I can’t be *on* with a 9-5 Monday to Friday schedule. I can’t plunk myself down at my desk at 9 am and say: Be creative. Write. (Well, OK, I can *say* it…I just can’t *do* it.)
I can…when need be, rise to the occasion. If I have a speech scheduled, I always deliver. For some reason, having an externally imposed deadline works. But it doesn’t bring on the full flowing amazing stream of creativity and easy writing. It’s harder. It feels more like work.
And this is one of the key advantages for me in self employment. I can relax into my own cycles. Write like crazy when I’m in that flow…and completely relax when I’m not. Allow myself all the time and space I need to recover.
Or at least that’s the theory.
The reality is that I tend to beat myself up a bit when my cycle turns to the fallow season. I sometimes forget that I need that rest in order to recover enough to be creative again.
Especially if I happen to read yet another blog or article expounding on the virtues of scheduling and how critical it is that bloggers post on a set schedule – ideally every day.
The weird part is that I can buy into the idea – and even think it’s possible – when I’m in that creative flow state. Right now…in this moment…I think I can easily pull off a post a day.
Yet experience tells me the juice will run out. At some point, I will crash. No. Not crash – I will sputter to a stop like a car running out of fuel. I will be standing there, stranded by the side of the blogging highway, thinking: “I will never post again.”
And next time that happens, I’m promising myself that I’ll roll with it.
And I’m saving this post for that occasion…so I can feel a tad bit less guilty about neglecting my blog while I take care of my self.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, do I know where you are with this Patty. Ideas for new blog posts and book chapter titles pour from my brain like fine wine . . when I’m trying to sleep. And I scramble to write them down on little post-it notes before they disappear. Then I get up in the morning and wonder what on earth I was thinking as I sit at the computer struggling to drag the substance behind those so perfect ideas into the light of day. It usually doesn’t go well. Titles dig their little heels into the dirt and refuse to be “diluted” with more words. Perhaps the real work should be done while we sleep.
Gail´s latest ..On Minding The Gaps
Blog every day? Really? I think that’s insanity. Your readers need a break, too, don’t they? Time to absorb and process what you said yesterday. I wouldn’t even try to blog more often than maybe twice a week. I’m on hiatus right now, but I’m going to go for once a week.
I agree there’s a cycle to creativity. Mine tends to be rather drawn out. Like Tara, I could totally camp out in the period of generating ideas. Feeling the impulse to actually follow through on those ideas comes much more rarely. When it does, though, it’s wonderfully energizing and exciting. Then there are times when neither generating ideas nor following through seems appealing…isn’t that what Twitter is for?
No, seriously, that’s when I want to read what other people have to say or go have an experience that stimulates me back into idea mode.
I think you and Tara have hit on something with the creativity cycle idea.
@Gail – I hear you. It’s frustrating enough to have stuff in my head that I can’t get into writing (sometimes I think what I need is a gizmo that lets me do a vulcan mind meld with my computer). But ideas that come while I’m asleep or in the shower…and then disappear when I sit down to write. The worst!
@Sue YES! As a reader, I’m not that keen on bloggers who write every day – even if I enjoy their posts. I follow a *lot* of blogs and if I don’t get to Reader for a few days, it feels overwhelming and stressful to look at so many unread posts. Then there are bloggers I follow who post intermittently and infrequently – and when I see a new post, it’s like getting an unexpected present.
No blog I really enjoy has a post every day (at least by the same author). I feel so affirmed by this, even as a non-writer, thinking of the cycles of my own energy and productivity.
Thanks as ever!
I can’t tell you all what a relief it is to hear I’m not the only one with this problem of hypercreativity, frantically trying to keep track of ideas but losing steam when I go back to carry them out, and then stagnation. And for me, depression.
Sue, thank you for saying a blog post a day is too many, even for readers. It’s true, with the pressure every blogger feels to post several times a week, there is too much freakin’ information out there. I am on serious overload trying to keep up.
LaVonne Ellis´s latest ..Sing Your Truth