Taking action on the stuff that scares me

by Patty K on July 13, 2010

A few months ago, I asked my friends on Facebook to describe me. I was surprised to see the words brave and courageous show up in their assessments.

Shocked even.

Because I’m the world’s biggest fraidy cat.

I’m afraid of rejection, judgment, confrontation, making other people uncomfortable, voicing my opinion, announcing what I want, asking for help…

I’m afraid of failure. And of success. (And…come to think of it, mediocrity.)

I’m afraid of people: approaching them, meeting them, talking to them. Getting close to them.

Some days I’m afraid to pick the phone up and order pizza.

Perhaps it’s not surprising that I feel stuck most a lot of the time.

But people can’t (usually) tell that by looking at me. They see me from the outside – wearing pajamas to a conference, speaking on stage, exposing myself on my blog – and they assume that I’m not scared. Unless I tell them, they have no idea what I’m feeling inside.

We’ve been socialized to not show or admit our fear. We’re supposed to exude confidence – never let them see you sweat. Hide your flaws, hide your weaknesses…and most of all, hide your insecurities.

And this is a problem.

We see other people doing stuff that we’re afraid to do and we assume that they aren’t scared, that they’ve never been scared. Then we think that they are “special” in some way – better than us, braver than us – so of course, we could never do the things they’re doing.

Or worse, we start to think there’s something wrong with us.

I remember being absolutely shocked to hear that one of my very successful friends had once been too afraid to go through with an interview. She got all dressed up, drove to the appointment and never got out of her car. I thought that was something that only people like me did. (And yes, I’ve done that *exact* thing. Twice.)

All my life I’ve been held back by fear.

I used to think that some day, if I kept working on my stuff, the fear would go away. I would become brave. Then I could take action on the things I wanted to do.

I had it backwards.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear; courage is acting in spite of fear.

You don’t get brave first, then take action. You take action first, and doing so makes you brave.

Which is much easier said than done.

I am committing to taking action on the stuff that scares me.

Over the next few years months, I plan to take on my fears, one by one – in public, on this blog.

To admit to being scared. Of even the stupidest smallest things.
To discuss my plans and strategies before going in.
To report on the results afterward. Good or bad. Pass or fail.

My hope is that by sharing my own journey though fear that I can inspire you to take yours.

Just remember:

I may look brave, but I’m scared as hell.

In the spirit of taking action on the stuff that scares me, I want to grow my blog readership. (Just saying that was scary)

So, if you like this post, please click the Tweet or Share button below. (Asking for help: even scarier)

Thanks a zillion!

Comments (as always) are appreciated. What scares you?